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Black Friday Is Weird. It’s Going To Become Even More Ridiculous. Here’s Why.

Where Did Black Friday Come From?

Photo: Gretchen Beerline / Pinterest

The most ingenious thing Commercialism and Consumerism have collectively sold you isn’t a physical product, but an abstract concept, and that concept is named: Black Friday.

This day is defined by buying things you probably don’t need, for reasons you probably can’t fully justify, with money you probably shouldn’t be spending.

The fact that it’s literally the day after (American) Thanksgiving, where you’re supposed to be thankful for all that you have, and nobody bats an eye at the irony, is pure wizardry. (Let’s call it “Black” Magic.)

The day after being home with loved ones, we brave the literal cold to rub shoulders with strangers and with so much intensity that people get mortally-wounded. “blackfridaydeathcount.com” is a real, regularly-updated website.

Black Friday isn’t even just one day anymore. In true consumerism fashion, the only thing better than one of something is two, or three, or seven of it.

First there was “Cyber Monday”, which turned Black Friday into a weekend thing. Okay. Then businesses figured “Hey, it’s already a 4-day thing, we might as well just have it be a week-long thing.” Not super unreasonable.

These last few years, however, have seen a noticeable increase in the “Pre-Black Friday Sale” or “Early-Bird Sale”, where retailers begin offering Black Friday prices weeks in advance.

Within the next 5 years (that number is somewhat generous), it’s going to become a month-long thing. That’s as much of a guarantee as it is that Black Friday will continue existing.

It’s a built-in quality: we must always have more. People will continue wanting to buy things, and it’s here that I’m reminded of a quote from Fight Club: “Sometimes, the things you own end up owning you.”

If you liked this article, you might also like to know how we’re doing Halloween wrong, or why Election Day should be a national holiday.


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