Interested in getting a girl interested?
…the girl you have in mind needs to be single.
Getting a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend is not the right reason to pursue a lady. No relationship will blossom out of a lie. If you’re setting out just to get your tree shaken, you’ll find you’re going to scare away quite a few potentials. The best way to find your most wanted, is to expand your social network in general. When you believe you’ve encountered a young lady who tickles a certain charisma—this feeling should occur in places other than your pants— watch her from a distance, don’t jump the gun. Most importantly, make sure she’s single—there’s nothing worse than medaling with a taken girl. Now that you’ve got your eye on which one she is, be interested in making seeing her happy. Every girl loves a guy who can make her smile. Playing the roll of the cocky guy who can get with anything walking, is NOT the way to go about engaging a female. Let her catch you glancing at her—not staring! Only let her see your sweetest smile, one look could give her the wrong impression of your intentions. She will instantly judge you based on the way you look at her. Keep in mind these judgements may include: creepy, cocky, horny, or what you are aiming for—nice guy.
Now that she’s watching
…confidence is key!
Be confident when you get the chance to talk to her. Try not to mumble, or leave blank spaces in the conversation. Don’t hesitate to get to your point, there’s no need to beat around the bush when you have a question. By now she knows you’re interested in spending time with her, stuttering your question is not going to help. There are probably a dozen other people she could be listening to talk, be bold enough that you stand out. On an important note— don’t expect her to be the one who lets you know “when she’s free”. If your first offer gets denied, contact her again in a day or two to ask if it’s a better time. If you’re being rejected, there’s a fine line between being persistent and being annoying. Only you will be able to tell if you’re crossing it. Generally speaking, if she starts rejecting calls or ignoring messages at any time, you may want to back off.
You’re worthy of her time, make it worthwhile
… have a game plan
Don’t start off your date by asking her what she wants to do. Have a layout, depending on the time she gives you. Movies are a bad first date—she wants to study your persona, not the profile of your silhouette. As typical as it sounds, being taken out for dinner is always a good thing. Keep a low profile restaurant in mind, not a lounge or bar atmosphere. This will make it more comfortable for the conversation to flow. If you feel like being a little more colourful, try taking her out for a hike or to a park. Remember to flirt, tease, and challenge her intellect. Do this by asking her about her life outside of work and school, for example. Change up the everyday conversation from “How was your day?” to “What was your favourite part of today?” Most importantly, do not shy away from being yourself. Your lady friend will sniff a fake act from a mile away—if not right away, then soon at a worse time. There’s no better way to find comfort in a man than with one who is down to earth, and being real.
Got the girl! Now what?
…be prepared for the unexpected
You commenced these relations with the lady in order to get to know her better. Its important to keep in mind that she may not be exactly what you pictured. No girl is perfect, don’t expect her to be a cookie cutter shape. Whatever her habits, hobbies, style, reactions, and way of being are, accept them. If you find yourself wanting to change her you’re in it with the wrong woman! Always be a gentleman, never let her see you overreacting at situations. Within the first few weeks, there’s really no reason she should ever see an angry or frustrated side of you—avoid situations which you feel will lead to this. Don’t offer her alcohol as part of the scene every time the two of you are together. A few drinks one night is acceptable, but she shouldn’t see you intoxicated what so ever within the first few weeks either. This time period is vital in positioning an impression of yourself on her. Most importantly at this stage, do not lie. Lying about your character, your opinions, your outlook or attitude, will only cause problems in the near future. You will find yourself wanting to play pretend, to be something she would like. However, it is essential she be allowed to make a decision about you based on who you really are, and she will respect your willingness to allow her to do so.
Keep her interested.
…don’t let her think she was just about the chase
Ask any girl, her biggest fear is that it won’t last—one of you will lose interest. If you spent a lot of time resolutely making her feel special, now is most definitely not the time to quit. Whatever it was about her that had you trying so hard to begin with hasn’t changed. She’s still an amazing girl, and if you don’t treat her right and remind her every day, there’s a guy out there who will. Yes, you’re busy with your work/school/gym/ buddy schedule, but it’s imperative to find space for your lady. Make time to continue your outings. After locking in time to spend with her, find diverse ways to use it. It will be easy for her to see your effort when you ask her out on a date to the comedy club, or for a midnight walk on the beach.
Written by: S&K
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